Blizzard Cancels new OverWatch Skins Due to Roseanne Show Controversy.

I doubt anyone reading this has not yet to heard of the controversy surrounding Roseanne Barr having what experts are calling an Abieneurysm™.  What you may not have heard however is how this will impact the upcoming crossover campaign between Blizzard’s OverWatch and The Roseanne show. Since the cancelation of the show, several scripts and concept renderings have leaked including the one pictured above. While a lot of the information we have received has been difficult to parse, let alone comprehend, we have been able to string together what we believe is a synopsis of episode 1.

Roseanne and Dan attend a technology fair. A mysterious old man sends Dan home with a virtual reality headset used for “adult entertainment”, but what he does not tell him is of the far out power it possesses.

It is pretty clear from the promotional images and this synopsis that we are looking at your typical will-they|won’t-they die-in-the-game|die-in-real-life situation. Given that Blizzard had just announced that it would no longer be releasing the skins, it seems fair to say a top level collaboration was underway until interupted by what experts are calling an Ambienisaster™.

We reached out to Blizzard for a comment, asking whether Roseannes moral leanings played a roll in their decision to back away from the deal. The following video is live tape from our inteview with Mr. Blizzard and his response.

We thought this seemsed a bit flamboyant and dark and mentioned that the sorts of responses we usually receive include opinions on the offesiveness of her utterances, etc. Mr. Blizzard, now truly living to his name stared me down coldly as if his puffy eyes pierced strait through me. “You are a journalist are you not?” he scoffed “You should recognize politics when it comes knocking at your brain. Do you honestly believe these corperations CARE about this sort of thing. It’s business kid. That is all. We did a risk assessment and not “taking a moral stand” posed greater capital risks than taking the simple loss. Were you not listening to what I said just momen..”

At this point I fled the room. I did not know what to think. My whole world had been turned upside down. I spent the rest of the evening curled up behind a waterfountain in the hall. For hours as I sat, consoling myself, I could hear faint cackles of “NeoLiberalism” and “Steve Jobs Worship” from down the hall.

I felt lost.

scared.

Ambienaked™

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